I wish that we could talk about it,
But there, that's the problem.
With someone new I couldn't start it,
Too late, for beginnings.
The little things that made me nervous,
Are gone, in a moment.
I miss the way we used to argue,
Locked, in your basement.


I wake up and the phone is ringing,
Surprised, as it's early.
And that should be the perfect warning,
That something's, a problem.
To tell the truth I saw it coming,
The way, you were breathing.
But nothing can prepare you for it,
The voice, on the other, end.


The worst is all the lovely weather,
I'm stunned, it's not raining.
The coffee isn't even bitter,
Because, what's the difference?
There's all the work that needs to be done,
It's late, for revision.
There's all the time and all the planning,
And songs, to be finished.


And it keeps coming,
And it keeps coming,
And it keeps coming,
Till the day it stops
I wish that we could talk about it,
But there, that's the problem.
With someone new I could have started,
Too late, for beginnings.
You're smaller than my wife imagined,
Surprised, you were human.
There shouldn't be this ring of silence,
But what, are the options?


When someone great is gone.
We're safe, for the moment.
Saved, For the moment.

"That's life for you," said McDunn. "Someone always waiting for someone who never comes home. Always someone loving some thing more than that thing loves them. And after a while you want to destroy whatever that thing is, so it can't hurt you no more." - R. Bradbury, The Fog Horn





M.Weaver

videosex

Pandoras box

Getting inebriated with you may have proved to be a bad decision.

Someone is going to find out.

The other day a friend complained how hard it was to write a paper, it being her first academic paper in years, she was merely expressing how difficult it was with things like procrastination and text citing that were obstructing production. I said I'd help if she needed it, but after saying it I realized wtf, how did I even graduate?



Seriously, an undergrad degree in Psychology, how? When I'm reviewing/editing my resume, applying for degree related jobs, when people question my education and what I finished with I feel like a complete fraud. I don't even think I've retained any real information from the years I've been in university. I should be proud to say that I did it, sure I am, but it still baffles me how I actually accomplished it. Accomplished - overrated. Half way in I decided that, really..I hate people (to some extent). So on that note, dear friend I cannot help you with your paper, I suck.

Love affair?

Kim is a pussy.

I think I've confirmed that I can't handle blood, most especially if I am the one bleeding. It makes me feel queasy, and if I don't make a conscious effort to not think about it, it is most likely that I will successfully faint. I have had two incidents, where this has happened. The first was when I was at an old job that I had, but that's a whole different story. The second, which was pretty recent, was at a super cheap asian (I had to add that, because clearly I'm prejudice and I'm asian so I can) nail salon.

I needed a cheap and fast pedicure, and this place was one of the few that would take my friend and I at the hour we were requesting. Key word here: Cheap. So, I was getting my pedicure, relaxing, sitting in that spa chair thing not really paying attention and playing with my phone. She was cutting away the cuticle on my feet, doing her thing, when suddenly she's says, "oh it hurt? It hurt?" Me: "wtf, are you talking about it hurt?" I look down and my toe is bleeding. It's pooling on the side of the nail, not a lot, but enough that seeing it makes me feel so gross inside. Awesome. She then proceeds to wipe it up with a tissue, puts some sort of green oriental ointment on it, all foreign, and it's still not exactly going away. Ignores, what's going on and moves on to the next toe. I'm like omg wtf is going on. I'm watching all of this. I even text my friend Elaine, who is sitting next to me. "uhhhh my toe is bleeding."

I keep thinking about this, that my toe is bleeding and I start slowing feeling nauseous and my head kind of starts spinning. My fingers start tingling and I can't really feel them anymore. At this point I know what's happening to me and I'm trying really hard to not make a scene and conceal the fact that I'm about to faint. I kinda just lean to the side and try to look like 'Im 'relaxing' and in the 'zone'; but really I'm taking deep slow breathes. It doesn't help that it smells like toxic chemicals in the salon and that my lungs were probably being poisoned. Then it feels like someone has covered my hears and I can't really hear anything around me, it sounds super muffled and my upper lip is fucking breaking a cold sweat. It was so intense. Somehow, I managed to contain myself and not faint, but it was definitely a struggle. Thank GAWD I didn't faint.

BUT...fucking bitch charged me full price! like, BITCH YOU FUCKING CUT ME, this shit should be FREE! Annnnnd, she says next time I shouldn't cut my toe nails so short and have them long. Wtttttf...don't make excuses. Fuckk, lesson learned, you get what you pay for. I should of dished the 90. Gahhd.